Funny And Poignant Quotes Thread

[Dulcinea]

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.
-Miss Manners

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[cincygreg]

" Imaginiation is a gift, it is the elixer of life the seed of greatness"-P.T. Barnum

"A Life is not important except for the impact it has on other lives"- jackie Robinson

'My life is my own, I run it, I live it, I do with it as I please. If it is not what you want it to be or how you would like me to live it then you should spend less time talking and worrying about it and concentrate on your own"- The Wonderful, Amazing, Awesome and typo friendly Gregory A. Hoodin (which is of course me)

"I am what I am"- Popeye

"The Snozzberries taste like snozzberries"- Willie Wonka

"I dont do things to please you, I do things to please me"- unknown

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[Dulcinea]

If religious beliefs and opinions are found contrary to the standards of science, they are mere superstitions and imaginations; for the antithesis of knowledge is ignorance, and the child of ignorance is superstition. Unquestionably there must be agreement between true religion and science. If a question be found contrary to reason, faith and belief in it are impossible, and there is no outcome but wavering and vacillation.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">--'Abdu'l-Bah?

[cincygreg]

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"- Mark Twain

"I've been in love with the same woman for 40 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me"- Henry Youngman

"I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators, I left early"- Jack Benny

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a better shelflife"- Frnak Zappa

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[Lew]

"Ouch. Ow! Stop! Ouch, that hurts! Ouch. I'm telling you, I dont' know what the frequency is."


- Dan Rather


"I don't ever want to hear you say 'I want it that way.'"

- Backstreet Boys


"Lew, how do I look in this Catholic schoolgirl uniform?"

- Gae

[reason]

Regarding the "What's the frequency, Kenneth" incident with Dan Rather, a friend of mine - who often gets the story wrong - told me that same attacker killed an NBC employee while saying the same thing - "What's the frequency Kenneth."

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ON a side note, I have no desire to know the joke behind the Catholic school girl quote.